Thoughts on Change

I'm not fond of change.
Things that stay the same comfort me, calm me,
give me a sense of continuity and peace.

I do not welcome change.
Unfamiliar scenes framed by window sills with new colors
interrupt the day to day flow of movement my eyes are used to.

I am afraid of change.
Afraid of losing a scent, a whisper, a likeness, a memory
Lost in the  transformation of my surroundings.

I am embracing change.
I may as well since it chases me and often catches me without warning,
making me lose my breath with dread and foreboding.

I am learning from change.
Once accepted and approved, I am amazed at my ability to learn
and increase: to adapt with grace to whatever new adventure awaits.

                                                               BMJ
                                                               September 18, 2012

Things I Like

I love how everyone is doing a  "things I like" post--it is informative AND entertaining so I thought I would jump on the bandwagon---here are some things I like!

Twilight at my house--sounds of crickets and frogs included

Early morning on the compound when there's a ground cloud over the field--especially when we have forgotten to turn off the tree lights--they glow in the foggy air and I love it.

The kids laughing.

The kids getting excited over something.

Hearing--I wish Robert could hear the night sounds out here--and how it's possible to tell that they are winding down--in another month or two it will be quiet out here at night.

The smell when they cut the grass.

Piano lessons

the new film app the kids have learned to use--they're pretty good!

Hot pudding

watching the deer creep out in the early afternoon all over the yard--when no one is here, of course

a good book

to be continued...........

9-11

This is the 11th anniversary of the 9-11 attacks on the World Trade Center, the Pentagon and the Flight 93 crash in PA.  If, indeed , any of my family reads this when I am no longer here I wanted them to know that the day was remembered.  I will always remember watching and praying for those caught in the towers as I watched that morning--How inspiring to hear the stories of heroism and selflessness on that day as people tried to help each other.  And particularly moving to hear the messages of those who would never be rescued as they left calls and texts to their loved ones.

May we all be aware that any day could be our last and that we should treasure every minute we have with each other while we are here. And I hope we would be as brave and thoughtful and selfless as we imagine we would be given horrendous circumstances.

I am  reminded of the quote by Joseph Smith from the Wentworth letter:
              "The standard of truth has been erected; no
              unhallowed hand can stop the work from
              progressing; persecutions may rage, mobs may
              combine, armies amy assemble, calumny may
             defame, but the truth of God will go forth boldly,
             nobly and independent, till it has penetrated
             every country and sounded in every ear, till the
             purposes of God shall be accomplished, and the
             Great Jehovah shall say the work is done."

Our family prayers should be with the families of all of those who lost their lives on September 11th 2001--be they friend or foe. May the work go forward and families be sealed together in the gospel as current events make us more aware of the need for peace--and strength---simultaneously.

Evening Boat Rides

                                                                                
                                                                   The Rain River
                                                                            
When it rains here it often creates a lovely river for the kids to play in. Weekend before last we had a great time watching the races in the front yard. Grandpa Jones brought up the canoe and it was so deep that even with all the kids piled in they could still push it and it flew by!  They had a blast and were filthy and wet by the end of the evening--which of course makes it more fun.  They went a little fast to suit me--but, as Tig says, I'm a scaredy-cat.  It was flying by pretty fast--they hit one of the persimmon trees a pretty good lick!

This is the type of river that Robert taught Woodrow the Wood Duck to swim in and where Joshua caught crawdads as they swam through the yard--he's the only one that ever caught them though they all spent many an hour trying to fish them out of holes with cheese and hot dogs on a string. He waited till it rained and scooped 'em up with a bucket.

We got so tickled at the weather reports which kept intoning the gloom and doom of storms over and over the past few weeks--every night.  As though that were something new and threatening.  This is Virginia.  It is hotter than the hubs of hell.  Every twilight brings the threat of thunderstorms--and thank goodness cause it's the only thing that cools us off!  We look forward to it! Let the river rise-- lightening flash through the clouds---the rains come---and play on!

Hammy Lives!!!

Hammy is the squirrel that Jordan Hockaday and Joshua found on the side of the road near a dead mama squirrel. They brought it home and managed through some miracle to get it to live. He was so tiny I didn't know if he would make it. He made it all right--and became a fixture on Joshua's head! Hammy (the squirrel) lived in the gray house with him and had the run of it for a while till he got too rambunctious and had to be caged while Josh was gone. Once he got his tail caught in a door and it pulled half of it off--Robert said he helped in the pulling of that tail accidently while he and Josh were trying to introduce Hammy to his new cage---it never grew back. Robert and Josh built him a tree house and nailed it to the walnut tree out back--he had a porch and would come out to let you hand him nuts and seeds. He lived there most of the winter and then come Spring one day he just journeyed forth! We often wondered if he was living nearby as we never saw him--well, just the other day we saw a tail-less squirrel down at the shop--Josh is sure it must be Hammy---He lives!

Happy Birthday to Me

Yesterday was my Birthday! And no, we are not 58 and 63 in this picture---but I found this pic the other week and used it in an album I made for Robert on his Birthday!  He's my movie star man in this shot--I love it!

Also, it reminded me of the Kohl's, who visited us in a surprise appearance this past week.  This was taken at their house while our kids played on a homemade slip and slide.  Belinda and Ray Kohl are always fun and we love when they just show up--in fact, some of our fondest memories are of when they just "show up"---these are legendary events in the Jones chronicles.  Once, when Robert was at the stake center at a youth activity he peeped into the kitchen to see what was being served to the youth for dinner and there was Raymond Earl, helping in the assembly line while his wife and kids played at my house--(last we talked to them they had been living in New Zealand)---he did a  double-take and Ray just grinned and said "one scoop of potatoes or two?"

I took my Mom to breakfast at Panera Bread yesterday and then we visited Josh and Lauren and Riley to see the new house--Mama hadn't been yet--and I figured my birthday was a big event to her --way back when!  Then I journeyed with Robert to Once In a Blue Moon --a little estate sale place we visit a lot--- where we found a lovely curio cabinet that we thought Carol Nixon would like--they did--picked it up and we helped 'em get it in the house.  I also visited the book store next door and picked up two more westerns for my collection...(Maurine would be proud! she loves westerns too) Visited Erin to show her a picture we had gotten with her in mind--wasn't quite the thing she was looking for--visited Michael's family to see Jordan's new bed--a thing of beauty--a loft bed made to look like a forest with twinkle lights everywhere--so cute and so Jordan.  Laura left a lemonade dispenser with Boston Baked Beans (one of my favorites!) on my kitchen table--among the cards and candy AND I got sang to numerous times--my honey left a lovely card on my bed with a surprise in it just for me.  Overall, not a bad day --kind of peaceful but not...plus Michael Phelps won his final gold medal on my birthday--Olympic history!  Happy Birthday to me! 

This is the us that is now--with Josh last year

 Tomorrow Laura and the kids are coming to our house after church for her Birthday dinner--Tom is in Utah visiting his family and helping his Dad on the farm a bit--sometimes it's nice just to visit home without the hullabaloo which usually accompanies a large family--though I know they miss the little Cottles--they are all going in the fall.  How nice for Tom to have some one on one time with his parents.

Birthdays always make me a bit nostalgic--and thankful!  My sister asked me how it felt to get old yesterday--I thought of Zeke Jones, an old friend of Robert's, when he said years ago--"It's terrible to get old--and it's terrible not to get old".  I figure I'm covered either way...Robert's birthday is on the 4th of July so he always has fireworks and the Fife and Drum at CW (which we never miss)--but mine are peaceful and slower which is good too.

This is a picture of the grands at Chickahominy Park about 18 months ago, the kids look so small!  Now Matthew is 3 years old, Riley is 1 year old and Clara Grace is 3 months old--they are unstoppable, these little spirits that come to join our family!

Today I thought of this picture while I was moving through a hectic day  and how they are all growing. 

Mom had an appointment at the pharmacy to be fitted for some special stockings to help ease the swelling and discomfort in her legs--they actually look pretty sporty--Mom has pretty legs.  Then she needed to make a run to Target--her favorite place--the woman should do a commercial--she loves that store.

I came home. cleaned up a bit, and then did five piano lessons--I love doing them but sometimes feel a little stressed between the phone and smaller ones running in and out of the house while I am trying to explain triads or harmonic intervals. then my kids all look at me like "what on earth is the matter with you?" Believe it or not, I look forward to them coming--it's kind of my one on one time with 'em.

After the kids left, Mom called to tell me the goats and chickens were out of the pen--code for "get these animals away from my flowers before I get a gun and shoot them all".  So I corraled 'em all back in the fence and they looked so betrayed--they like wandering about in the yard eating everything we plant--especially my geraniums and Mama's lilies.  The kids pried the fence open to get the eggs which I had not done today and didn't shut it quite tight enough--It's okay--Annabel and GoatBelle--I didn't name them--enjoyed their foray into the wilds with the deer.  Tom C. says they are overfed--they are round as butterballs.

The girls and Robert and I went to return a basket to the Wardells who brought some of his cracked wheat bread over for Robert's birthday--we were going to get some ice cream but he forgot his wallet so we headed home where the insect invasion from H began...

I ended my day with Maylon and Hallie and Jordan keeping me company while their Dads worked on a bike with Pike and Lan and Aidan and Jack and Henley at the shop.  Maylon spied one of those huge wolf spiders sauntering in my kitchen door like it lived here--which it would have had she not seen it.  Of course, I screamed , May screamed, Jordan screamed, Hallie went ballistic and we finally got Robert to come kill it and found a bunch of tiny hatchlings under the buffet where it ran to hide--I don't know if they were this spiders young or not but I do know that they no longer exist--and Michael had better not tell me not to kill them ----I do not hunt spiders but if they come in my house I will kill them. Instantly. With no remorse.  Ever.  Maybe I was attacked by a spider as a child or something because I have always been terrified of them.  I'm so glad  Robert got to see one before I killed it.  He always says "it's just a little spider"-- sure it is after I kill it and it shrivels up --this thing could eat a small cat...even he was impressed.

Anyway, that was a typical day here for me and I am tired and am going to bed to read and think about something that doesn't have eight legs---eeeek!

Good Night, chickadees

Afterwhiles

This is a picture of my Grandmother Tazzie Lee's birth sons.  They were large at birth and large in life--or so it seemed to those of us who love them.  Amazing how ordinary men and women become more than ordinary when they are remembered through the proverbial rose colored glasses we all wear. Thank goodness for that. 

My grandmother gave birth at home to these babies who weighed 8 and a half,  11 and a half and 12 pounds.  I can't even imagine.  Their size  (and problems she had later in life leading to treatment at Duke University Hospital) lead us to believe she may have suffered from gestational diabetes which may have led to Type II diabetes in her later years.

Miss Tazzie Lee died when I was 5 so I do not remember her well--in my mind she was always "Miss" because that is what my mother called her.  Her sons called her Pet--never Mama.  They called their father Son, something I found very endearing. 

Miss Tazzie Lee also raised three other children--her sister Gaynelle died very young and left three children of her own.  Tazzie brought home the two girls, Margorie and Esther.  The youngest, Eddie, went to stay with his father's family.  I cannot remember what happened exactly but on one of their visits to see Eddie, Miss Tazzie Lee brought him home. There were whispers and accusations of neglect--and of course there were no inquiries or arguments back then--Grandma simply gathered his little things and brought him  home.  From things my mother told me there wouldn't have been any use to argue with her anyway. What Pet wanted to do she usually did.  My father was the youngest so Daddy couldn't remember life without Eddie and spoke of him often when I was a child.  So the family of three strapping boys became a family with four boys and two girls and Daddy thought of his cousins as siblings , which says a lot for the way Pet and Son handled their family. I admire that.

They also had two maiden aunts that lived with them for many years. Aunt Hallie, who never married and was everyone's favorite and Aunt Sug (Alice) who did eventually marry and was not as well-liked as she wished to be. 

Pet was lively and funny and a wonderful cook--her house was the gathering place for the family on Sundays.  Daddy said she would often have three or four pies made by the time he got up on Sunday morning.  I remember her front porch well, with people dressed in Sunday clothes lounging and the swing always occupied and gently swaying back and forth while people visited.  Mama was a little afraid of Miss Tazzie Lee but grew to love her in time.  She said Pet had gumption and a great sense of humor and was the busiest person she knew--bar none.  Pet could write her name and that was about all-- which puzzled me because all of her siblings could read and write and Aunt Hallie also read music ---she played the piano in church for years. 

Son was a deacon in the church, played the organ, the piano, the violin and the guitar well and was a carpenter for the mill in town.  He had a garden always and when I remember him at 94 years old he still worked --he swept up a shoeshop down the street in Durham every morning and when we visited he always baked a pie.

Thomas, was their oldest son (light jacket), then Theodore (dapper in the bow tie) and then Bennie Hugh, (with the flower on his lapel).  Daddy preferred  to be called "Ben". 

I love that they were a blended family.  I love that they were a church going family--that they sang together and that the boys adored their mother and father even when they were older.  I love that two maiden aunts were taken care of and accepted.  In fact, they were close enough to name the children. Aunt Hallie named Theodore.  Aunt Sug almost named Daddy Elihu like the prophet in the Bible but Grandpa Moss said no--that sounded too much like a girl.  Elihu became Bennie Hugh, which is certainly original--- and pacified Aunt Sug.

I loved visiting North Carolina when I was a child and still get a tingle up my backbone when I see the Oxford sign on the highway.  I remember rides with Thomas and Lynette through town in the summer and Theodore's garden and his penchant for bursting into song.

I wish I had listened better to stories I heard when I was a child--I wish I remembered how Son and Pet met, what made them tickled, what their favorite color was or their favorite song. 

Oddly enough, I do still remember that front porch--I wish I could remember the people on it.

                                       Margorie, Esther, Thomas, Theodore (Thedo) and Ben

Daddy (Ben), Theodore, Eddie, and Thomas

Today was so muggy and hot my eyeballs nearly melted--yes, I know it is July but I am dreaming of fall already.  Last night we had a writer's workshop at my house for the older kids.  We are planning a book of scary, spooky stories to be published in the fall by the grand offspring of the compound.  I thought it would be great to have some parameters set for the offerings--no blood, guts and gore--just suspense and scary situations.  We made a list of  prospective titles and of adjectives that were "scary" and practiced a few trial paragraphs.  They were inspired, if I may say so.

We also scared ourselves to death in the process.  I turned off all the lights and lit the oil lamps throughout the kitchen--we ate ice cream and brainstormed--we created an "aura" according to Spencer (which was exciting)--and told tales of old  (mostly about their parents--who love Halloween and scary stories as much as I do.)  I couldn't leave this house with Erin and Laura in it when they were preteens without getting called home by the police or a distracted grandparent because they had invented something horrible in their imagination.  Laura would conjure it up and Erin would swear to it!  They swear to it still---Robert came in to add his memories and in the middle of  a perfectly normal conversation suddenly screamed in the middle of his speech--(he is a very loud person when he wants to be)--we all went ballistic--- especially Spencer who has his mother's imagination.

The grands have inherited this love of the spooky--our next workshop will be held outside in the dark with candles and lightening bugs--yes, lightening bugs--that's what they are called in the South--- flitting around the edges of the trees while we create specters in the night.  These pictures are of last All Hallow's Eve and are awesomely inventive--from the demented Grinch to the dreaded ladybug--oooooooooooo!  So as we enjoy the heat and the flowers and the pool and all the joys of summer we are awaiting the future short story collection and the All Hallow's Eve to come!

P.S. The children who attended the workshop all slept with their parents last night--paybacks are terrible--:)

Revival

Having ignored my blog for several months I thought it was time to revive my efforts--especially in light of my family's new fascination with the blog form of journaling--which I have so enjoyed reading.  Even Tink has a blog!

My original intent was to chronicle some of my parents and Robert's parents memories and exploits so that my children wouldn't forget them--I sometimes add everyday things in my own life too--so that I don't forget them!

Just to update--Riley Daneille is now one year old and Clara Grace is 2 months old--both are darling and made Baby Matthew (as Becca calls him) seem downright grown-up.  He is going to be tall like his Mom and Dad and is a little toddler-man now.

This will be a year of changes for us in the Jones family--it's in the wind--we can almost feel it.  It is the year of moves.  Katherine and Ryan have moved to a new house in New Kent and are no longer in our ward and the ability to just "pop" by is gone.  Funny how the Lord compensates for change--this last half of the school year Kendall was able to be with us on the compound almost every day after school and consequently Matthew too, when his Mom picked her up.  We --especially my Mama--really got to know and enjoy her little quirks and "isms" and will miss her not being there to chatter away and eat mac and cheese and keep Jared on his toes! 

Robyn and Christian bought a 100 year old farm house in Arendtsville, PA.  It is in the middle of apple orchards and is beautiful--they have good neighbors and Mya has already charmed most of the folks nearby--that child is not a wallflower by any stretch of the imagination.  We miss them here but it is nice to have a lovely place to visit--she has an adventurous spirit, our Robyn.  Robert and I brought some little Jones'es (Maylon, Hallie, Tink and Kendall) with us to surprise them for Mya's 10th birthday--it was so much fun, even though only one day! Robert was nearly crazy by the time we got 'em home but it was well worth it.

Erin and Tom  are back in Williamsburg with a new job and bright hopes for settling here for a while--we are so glad to see them! They're a joyful bunch! They move around a bit--Erin loves to visit places but likes to return home--they were in Bellefonte, PA where Erin informed me "Mom. I thought I liked snow."  That's because snow here is usually an inch or two--as compared to several feet there! The children like their new school and they have an eye on the housing market as they plan to set down roots...

Laura and Tom are planning to build nearby--maybe on the property--maybe not, but a new house is in their immediate future  "Lord willing and the creek don't rise."  It's exciting for us since we never move and can get excited about the process vicariously through them--L.B. has started a cute little blog of her own called fivetosnuggle.blogspot.com.  Check it out to get the lowdown on the Cottles.

Josh and Lauren are moving too--we will miss the baby being next door!  It was so nice to be able to just stop by and get a "Riley fix"--one little giggle or grin and your whole day felt better.  Lauren is thrilled and I don't blame her--the little gray house is a great stop-gap and saving place for the future but not a permanent solution--way too small!  Josh, however will miss seeing all the deer in the evenings as they feed in the back field--and the excitement of chasing foxes or fighting snakes--(not to mention raising baby deer)--it's not dull here on the compound--especially when someone is always trying to wake you up! He will miss us, I know--

Michael and Amanda have no plans to move yet (though they are eyeing the market and it's movement too)--Amanda has been in school this year (she is quite the student and will make a brilliant nurse) and the family has been very supportive.  Michael is very proud of her and has juggled things pretty well( for a working man with an eye for a good reel to restore)--the kids have risen to the occasion too and create a wonderful chain of support for Mom--who in turn is inspiring them to do well in school while Dad teaches them to back up his scholar on the home front!

Mike and Ken have moved to Croaker--right on the York river so their water loving souls are comforted.  Their house is a small cottage with a beach-y feel and a laid back community that seems independent and close at the same time--I think the kids will love it--they have an osprey nest right in front of their house with baby birds in it and can fish all they like--it will be an adjustment from the neighborhood they lived in before but I have a good feeling about it.

Dad and I have watched them all --we pray a lot--and laughed and cried when called for. We are contemplating some changes ourselves but will keep that under our hats for now till we have made up our minds what to do.  Mom broke her arm this year which was very painful and very hard to watch her deal with. She's a trooper.
 I 'm still grateful that Josh was home to hear her when she fell or she could have been there a long time--he was calm and very in command (and should look into being a paramedic)--that's my blog sermon for today. (I couldn't help myself!)

I will try and make an entry or two a month and keep my family better informed--'bye for now.  Benita

Pictures of the compound in summer