Woodrow the Wood Duck

Friday, July 22, 2011

My friend Melby Denise May Pierce-Warner died July 11 of this year. She battled cancer bravely and the last time I talked to her I was struck by her cheerfulness and her concern for her husband who was, as always, by her side. She knew this was as difficult for him in many ways as it was for her.

I didn't know Denise all that well. I wish I had known her better. I was a little afraid of her when I first met her---she was forthright and sometimes abrupt when speaking. I found out later she was a little shy and hid behind that abruptness. She was inspiring to me--I would like to try to explain why and I'm not sure I can: here goes.

When I first met Denise she had bright blue streaks in her long hair, which she wore wound around her head like a crown. Her adult kids thought it would be fun to experiment with her hair, so she experimented and seemed to like the result. She had a string of bells tied around her knees so they tinkled softly as she walked in church. She said it was so her grandkids could find her. She dressed modestly and certainly not in style and yet what she wore was oddly becoming--mixed textures and colors that were very original and caught the eye. I learned that she had a degree in textiles and design and that she loved to sew. She often wore hats which I personally love but seldom have the courage to wear because few people do anymore. If you saw Denise in a local store you would think to yourself " what a strange lady"--and lady would be in that sentence for a reason. Because as odd as she looked she owned a gentleness that was obvious in her actions--she was kind, and lots of people are not kind. It is a quality that stood out in her.

I wish I had the courage to be who I would like to be and not worry about the style, or if it pleases Miss Molly down the street, or if it's the popular thing to do. I would like to have "the courage of my convictions". Denise loved her family and served them in many ways without worrying whether what she did looked odd to anyone else. Her grandchildren were in my Sunday school class and often spoke of "Grandma's bells" with a grin. They loved it. Her hats were a source of smiles from many people but some of them, like me, envied the ease with which she wore them and wished we could too. She loved the church and was unwavering in her devotion to it. Long term committment--something rare today when other committments take precedence over going to church and serving the Lord--not a fashionable phrase. She loved the Lord and she served-- willingly and well and sometimes at great personal sacrifice. She loved music and taught the children in her classes to sing with a joy that was a joy to hear!


One of my fondest memories of Denise, and a wonderful life lesson --was in her closeness to her husband of 35 years. They were close and not afraid to show it--I can still see them walking to their car in the parking lot after church hand in hand (with a little swing to it )as they walked to an old beat-up car that some people would have junked years ago. Denise was not embarrassed by that car. "Still some good years left in that car", she'd say. "It's been a good car and we'll keep riding in it as long as it will go."

At her memorial service she mostly wanted music sung. I was touched by how many of her choices were my favorite songs. Lead, Kindly Light. If You Could Hie to Kolob, I Am a Child of God, Once in Royal David's City, all favorites of mine. And wished I had taken the time to get to know this wonderful lady better than I did. My heart goes out to her family---and I can't help but think what a home she will be preparing for them beyond the veil--it will be an original, I am sure of that.

How many people do we pass every day that do things a little differently? Whose hair might be out of style or who don't quite fit in with what's acceptable in middle America? Who dress differently or live differently but whose originality and innate kindness we don't bother to see? Who have beautiful eyes and a great sense of humor but who aren't "chic" and don't have the latest whatnot we all have to have to be accepted?


I will miss Denise Warner and love her for many reasons but one of them--maybe the best of them --was her way of teaching me this lesson--without even trying, with a smile and a flashy hat and a lot of love.

No comments:

Post a Comment